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HUMOR ME...... JOKE OF THE DAY LOL

2 months 1 week ago #7324 by Kevinrealstewbiz
Brewery

One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husband’s best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.
“Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory.”
Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned.”
Mrs McMillen starts crying. “Oh, don’t tell me that! Did he at least go quickly?”
Paddy shakes his head. “Not really – he got out three times to pee!”

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2 months 1 week ago #7323 by Kevinrealstewbiz
Mick and Paddy are walking along when Mick falls down a manhole. Paddy shouts down: "What shall I do?" Mick barks back: "Call me an ambulance!"

Paddy then jumps up and down screaming: "Mick is an ambulance, Mick is an ambulance."
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2 months 1 week ago #7322 by Kevinrealstewbiz
Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

After a while, one amazed onlooker said: "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."
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2 months 1 week ago #7321 by Kevinrealstewbiz

Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.

Paddy says: "Are you on foot or in the car?"

Billy replies: "In the car." "Well that's the quickest way," says Paddy
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2 months 1 week ago #7320 by Kevinrealstewbiz
An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space.

"Lord," he prayed. "I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday."

Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: "Never mind, I found one!"
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2 months 1 week ago #7308 by Dennis
One year I took a friends daughter to school all year. She was in Kindergarten. The father worked and mother didn't drive. Every day I would tell her jokes on the way to school and the way home. These jokes all came from my mother. My mother had raised 13 children 8 of them her own. The one thing she had learned is for some reason children like the concept of being able to hear dirty jokes. Yes even kindergartners. So the question became how could you tell a dirty joke that was age appropriate.

The answer in the end was simple. Dirt is dirty. My mothers favorite dirty joke to tell children was "A little white horse fell in the mud." The kids all loved it.
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2 months 1 week ago #7304 by Paddy Delaney
That is a good one, made my day!

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2 months 1 week ago #7303 by Carol USA Global Support
That one always makes me laugh. Here is mine... The police pull over a car that was traveling at 90 miles an hour. As he walks up to the car he sees an elderly woman driving. He asks for her driving license and asks this questions. Mam, why were you traveling so fast. She replies. I want to get there before I forget where I am going!
That is my favorite joke and the only one I can remember!

Foundation Member
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2 months 1 week ago #7298 by Angela
An oldie but still a good laugh

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2 months 1 week ago #7297 by Kevinrealstewbiz


On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and his wife Shirley were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street today, so the snow plows can get through."
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street today, so the snow plows can get through."
The good wife went out and moved her car again..
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..."
Suddenly the electric power went out.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on today so the snowplows can get through?"
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time."
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